A Step Towards Your Child’s Identity

Let’s start with a question. Is your child lazy? Shy? Aggressive? Or are they creative, thoughtful, or determined? Why the words we use to describe our child’s matter and how we can describe them a good adjective.

One of the biggest milestones in having a baby is choosing the perfect name, and if you are choosing an Indian baby boy name, it becomes more difficult. Parents recognize a child’s name, which becomes a part of their identity, and you only get one chance to pick a good one. As a result, parents often take months, trying on different names to see which one will suit their little one. Just like Cornelius might be too big, Ira too small, but Charlie is just right!

However, a parent’s duty to provide their child with the right name which does not end just by printing on a birth certificate. The act of giving your child the right name continues throughout their life. Starts with their upbringing to their whole life.

In a world full of words, we use languages to identify, classify, and connect. Words are also used to label, define, and compare as we use them to describe ourselves and the people around us. Have you ever stopped to think about how the words we speak up with others might show how we treat them? Babies, being the little sponges they are, soak up what they hear about themselves. They pick up every word we speak out. What words are you using to define them? Be clear with your words before using any such words to describe your child because it might affect them in many possible ways.

Many times, we use words that have negative emotional words to describe behaviour we do not like in our children, such as being stubborn. Take a minute and think about a child who’s described as stubborn – what comes to mind? You might think of a child that will not leave the toy aisle at the grocery store or simply will not touch their peas at dinner, no matter how much pleading his parents do. But if you take away that prepackaged idea of what stubborn looks like, you remember a child’s behaviour can mean and may look like many different things. Stubborn can mean persistent, tenacious, or determined. The same word could just as easily be used to describe the child who rejects to give in to peer pressure to bully someone or one who refuses to quit even if she is struggling with multiplication tables in school. How quickly our emotional feelings shift when we move from describing a child who’s as determined instead of stubborn.

In addition to using words with emotions, we also often use words that are polarized or feel either negative or positive. For example, one can immediately have an idea of what someone described as “snobby” will be like, just as we do for someone called “sweet.” When we use these sweet words to describe children, we are often giving them a label of absolutes. We are saying rude behaviour equals a rude child, most of the time, with no exceptions. As a result, one instance of rude behaviour is now taken to present a child’s entire personality.

Saying that a child should not be described through these negative words does not mean that children never display these negative behaviours or traits. They all do at some point or another, and those behaviours should never be acceptable. However, it is important to remember that the behaviour can be negative, not the child. The action is “bad,” not the child.

Criticizing behaviour is different than criticizing a child. When we criticize the behaviour, we are showing disapproval for a specific action. Still, when we criticize a child, we are expressing disapproval for being—we show that we don’t approve of whom they are. When we give a child a name like “selfish” for not wanting to share their Halloween candy, we are not describing a selfish act; we are using adjectives for a selfish child. When we criticize a child for being instead of doing, we are writing a bad name on a nametag that they will carry with them wherever they go.

So, how do we change our negative attitudes to positive ones? Michigan State University Extension has some ideas on how to give your children great names!

Pay attention. The first step is paying attention to. Observe what words you use to describe your child, whether you say them aloud or not. Challenge yourself to make a list and think about the names given to them.

Switch them up. Take those negative names and switch them out for positive ones. Point out your child’s strengths, Observe they’re good behaviour, and give them good names just for being themselves. When your child begins an art project and ends with scraps of paper, scissors, tape, and glue strewn about the entire kitchen, do you use words like messy or as creative and artistic? Is baby hides behind you at family gatherings hesitant to connect with people called shy, or is she merely calm, contemplative, or insightful?
Let your child pick their own name. Always Encourage your child to figure out who they are, what personality traits they possess, and to come up with good names for themselves.

Words are very important which plays an important role in one’s life. They are powerful. The name we use, either privately or publicly, to explain our children can and will affect how we view and treat them, as well as how they view and treat themselves. You have the power to provide your child with a positive, supportive, and empowering inner voice. It all starts with a good name. So, make sure you choose a good one and give your child a positive life.